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Apples and Brain Damage

I guess I write poetry here, but I'm a songwriter and musician. I'm extremely dysfunctional, Social Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Borderline Personality disorder.

My ears hear too much
My head grows too heavy

I cannot swim above the water
That sinking thrill will tempt me

My little fishes and me
Wallowing in the water
Swimming in the sea
Swallowing our sorrows
Drowning in our pity

One of the biggest problems

On social media (or other)

Is not recognizing that

The way you feel

Is an opinion and it’s ok

If you think it’s a fact you’re

Ignorant. ( I try to hold on to bliss )

In my opinion.

Only having one point of view

Would be a dreary world

Like that of a horse

Unwillingly wearing his blinders.

Match sticks grip my fingertips


Heavvyy sedatives

My spinal cord telescoping

Like heavy sedatives

The thoughts that race around my mind

Stop to pace and challenge and erase my mind

My shivering bones

My irritated lungs


My weight, my walking, my talking,

My socializing, my thriving and my drug prescribed drive

Spill out in an precise unpredictable order

There are two numbers for every mix-matched colour

 In my head

And that just is not safe to me

So I leave now deserted

And head out hurting

With my heavyyy


I patiently wait
As I wade through my day
And I try to escape, But
I’m making mistakes
And my mind throws me off
And you won’t cut me off
In this mindset of mine
I’m entirely surprised
If I leave you alive
Let you walk away fine
And this smoke chokes my throat
With each toke after toke
After toke after toke
Why should I
Waste my time
Deciding it’s fine
To NOT take my prescribed
Little capsules subduing
And continuing
My self medicating and using

Should I leave myself numb and censor my choices?
Or continue wandering at night hearing muttered voices?

Start the day right

With a screwdriver and a fight

Pins and needles and pipe dreams and night reams I might scream

If I see your face in the screen once more this week

Pirate Ships

As far as I know
And as long as I’ve known
I am a stranded stranger
And this island is my home

My eyes have seen the blue horizons
My mind has touched the great unkown
A ship in sight it comes in blown
And much to my dismay,
The one they call the captain
Is one I know I know

Satan is a pirate and his ship is hard to see
He’s given up on others, he knows I’ve given up on me
So I lay on my back and look at the sky
While the clouds, my life, my time pass me by
I let myself sink, let myself drown
He can never catch me but he never
Stops bearing down